The sum of what I know that is useful and appears to be true now that I’ve achieved 43 years of age. (in no particular order)
- Happiness, in general is not a good goal – it is a by-product of trying really hard to do something else. Also, it doesn’t last.
- A good wife, at least based on my experience, is one that is not too terribly ambitious, and one that has not too much success early in life. If either of the first two conditions is met, you will need to either hire help to fill in the gaps left by her pursuit of ambition or perform those duties yourself. A nice girl that got B’s at state from a reasonably agreeable family is a good start, but no guarantee of success.
- What is required for a marriage – either party can do it, but these are the fundamentals.
- Income in any amount.
- Child care / Supervision of children’s intellectual, physical, and spiritual education
- Acquisition and Preparation of food
- Initiation and completion of sex
- Upkeep of the interior of the dwelling
- Upkeep of the exterior of the dwelling
- Interface with other families outside of either birth family
- Bills / Bookkeeping
- Planning for family togetherness so that the children bond amongst themselves which will serve them well when the parents have died.
- Parents are interested in silence, not justice (Bill Cosby)
- The condition of being a man is to be essentially lonely. The cure for this is to read books or even better (I think) write them. Do not believe for one second that your wife is your best friend, a confidant, a soul mate, or any such thing. This is not to say that you cannot love them deeply, because you can – but they will never ever understand the way that you think and if you’re normal, you will think many, many things that you must never, ever share with your wife.
- Most of what you learn in school is in fact useless. The things you learn while at school, outside of the classroom are far more important. Therefore, go to a good school with high quality people so that you will learn the right stuff.
- One should read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” in high school, again in college, again after college, and after being married for 1 year, 6 years, 10 years and 15 years.
- Define what success means to you early, or you will never be happy. Once you define it, you can achieve it and if need be, redefine it after you achieve your first goal.
- Don’t trust Wall Street or any investment vehicle.
- Your home is not an investment. It is a place to live. Do not confuse it with an investment.
- You make your best friends when you are young and single. Take care of them. You will need them later so that you can grow older with them.
- I feel terrible even writing this, but people from two-parent households tend to have less complications in their lives and are easier to deal with. If you come from a two-parent family, it is best to seek a wife from a two-parent household because they will have no baggage and a more realistic approach to marriage, life, and conflict.
- There will always be someone at your job that you will perceive as doing better than you, getting ahead faster, deservedly or not. It is best not to worry about this and to focus on something more important. Just about anything is more important than this.
- I believe that one area that the Europeans have over the Americans is no illusion of class mobility. If one seeks to maintain their class status rather than improve it, ones life will be easier, better, and will not endure so much suffering as one who strives to join a club to which they were not invited. This is just my belief.
- If you want something, ask for it.
- If you like a girl, ask her out. The worst that can happen is she will say ‘no’ – and that doesn’t happen nearly as often as you would think. Besides, you’ve got nothing to lose. You already not enjoying her company, so you’ll just be where you started, plus the ‘no’ will help you move onto the next one.
- Get through your first love quickly. For whatever reason, it seems that the inevitable painful failure of first loves falls more on the male than the female. Maybe they’re better at hiding it?
- A girl is going to look like her mother – so if looks for the long haul are important to you, make sure the mother is at least 50% MILF.
- It is important to have at least one good hobby that you can do in complete isolation, without talking and without the need for a helper. You will have much more time alone when you are an adult than you can possibly imagine.
- It is good to travel – experience new places and things – so that you can appreciate the beauty of your quotidian existence. It is better to live abroad and learn to speak another language. Learning another language doesn’t only teach you new words for things you already know, it teaches you another way of thinking entirely and enriches your understanding of the world, because you will have two points of view.
- Admire, but don’t desire beautiful people. They are wonderful to look at, but don’t project any further than that.
- To go to jail for more than 24 hours is a failure and is to be avoided at all costs. When trying to decide whether to do something you know is bad, ask these two questions – “If I get caught, will I go to jail for more than one day?” – the second question is “have I ever done this before”. If the answers to both questions is yes, DON’T DO IT. People rarely get caught the first time they break the law.
- Only break one law at a time. If you are speeding, don’t drink. Trespassing is a crime – often the first law broken.
- Read great books first. There may not be enough time to read the less good ones.
- A good religion is at least 10 generations old and has descendents from the first generation still practicing it.
- It is never worth it to commit suicide. You’re going to die anyway – why rush it? Having good friends can help you avoid this. If you think you want to commit suicide, write down all of the reasons you want to do it on a piece of paper. Put the paper away for three days. Don’t commit suicide during those three days. After those three days have passed, open the paper up and make a decision – carry on with life as it is or choose a new life – you can plan a new life. If neither of these things works – anti-depressants, coffee or a road trip to a hot sunny place may help. If that doesn’t work, then maybe suicide is the answer – but I don’t think that it is.
- Pornography, like alcohol, is unavoidable, but one should not spend more than 5 or 10 minutes a week with it. It will lessen the quality of your real-life relationships, create unattainable desires, and generally cost you more in wasted thought and anxiety than it is worth, so don’t spend too much time with it. Alcohol will make you fat and sick. Both have their place, but must be managed.
- Make sure you meet your obligations. If a paper is due, turn it in on time.
- Attend all classes. You don’t have to pay attention, but nobody I know ever got below a ‘c’ in a class that they bothered turning up for. You can graduate with ‘C’s – but of course I expect better from you.
- Be prepared to take care of your parents.
- We, as parents, know that you will think that we are idiots until you are fully an adult. Then you will have a more reasoned opinion of us. This is normal. We will be looking forward to the day when we are all adults. We’ve been looking forward to it since the time you were potty training.
- Your brothers and sisters will be your best and most reliable friends – so don’t ruin those relationships unless it is absolutely unavoidable. That situation is if a sibling is a verifiable psychopath – verified by someone outside of the family. Simple bad behavior, borrowing your stuff, taking your money, marrying “wrong” is no excuse. You have more in common with your siblings than anyone else on Earth – including your spouse. There are many times when this matters a lot.
- Money isn’t everything. In fact, it’s no more important than anything else – but you do have a responsibility to make sure that you can meet your obligations. By the way, for the most part, you get to choose your obligations – so choose them wisely.
- Do not allow your happiness to depend upon the happiness of another – especially your significant other. There are so many other forces at work that affect your partners every action, mood, etc., that it is foolish to think that you can do anything to cause or change it. What you can do, however, is to not cause the grief / anxiety – i.e.”don’t piss them off” knowingly. You can’t cure another person’s unhappiness. Don’t be fooled into thinking that something you can do (buy a big house, buying a new expensive gift) can make a difference. It cannot. The root of this foolishness comes from early in the love, when things you do, appear to make a difference. They don’t. You are learning nothing during the early stages of love because there is no pain. You learn later in love, when it is at its depths. Worry about yourself – go practice your hobby.
- Children are wonderful. They are wonderful 21 hours a day. The 3 hours a day that they are not wonderful is separated into 10 minute increments spread throughout the day. Remember, if there are 2 children, that’s 6 hours a day.
- Children cost about 10% more money than you have. Just be aware of this. Doesn’t matter how much you have.